in aeternum
by winchesterobsession
Summary: Dean loves Sam. Sam loves Dean. They're oblivious about the other's feelings. One night at a bar things change when Dean can't hold his anger and jealousy.


The sight of a 1967 Chevy Impala was always something that got people's attentions. The sight of a 1967 Chevy Impala being exited by two men like Dean and Sam Winchester was enough to turn people in their heels. Dean is much more aware of his effect on people than Sam even though the younger brother knows exactly when to flash the pearly whites and when to release the dimples.

On this particular day they were getting back from a case involving all kinds of messed up things, witches included and Dean just 'loved' that. Still dressed in their fed suits the boys walked out of the car and headed for the room they had booked when they got to town. There were still people on the parking lot and as the husbands turned to see the impala, the wife's just stared with their mouths wide open. Even as tired as they were the Winchesters noticed and both of them grinned at the women.

As they headed inside Dean took off the suit jacket and swung it over to his bed, throwing himself with it. Sam not far behind just sighed and headed for the bathroom.

Watching the door to the bathroom close behind his brother Dean just imagined what was going on in there. Man, how he wished he could know it, watch it or feel it… Dean had stopped trying to pretend he didn't feel these things towards Sam. He stopped lying to himself and just focused on making it unnoticeable, so Sam would never leave him or hate him. What they had would never be perfect because Dean wanted so much more, but a little of Sam was better than no Sam at all.

He heard the shower start and closed his eyes, trying hard not to think about the hot water all over his baby brother's back, chest and amazing arms. He tried not to imagine what it would be like to run his hands through those brown locks while pinning him against the shower wall and kissing so passionately they would need CPR. He really, _really_, tried not to think about the tan skin being close to his, the way he would kiss every inch of that body he wanted too much. Yes Dean tried, but he failed miserably… Nothing could prove that better than the hand he had down his boxers, his closed eyes or his slight panting. After a while, almost in unison, the shower stopped and Dean came crying out Sam's name.

Realizing the water had stopped running Dean pulled himself together and pretended he had spent all that time just resting on the bed. The door rocked open and with his eyes wandering everywhere but his brother's figure Dean swung his legs out of the bed and made a quick retreat to the bathroom so he wouldn't have to look at his half naked brother or at the way the goddamn towel rested on his hips. The only words they exchanged were "Took you long enough princess" and "Shut up jerk".

When Dean entered the bathroom all Sam could do was sigh and sink down on the bed. Sam let his eyes wander to the door that separated him from his brother and just shook his head at the thought that crept up on him. He couldn't… Not again. He couldn't think these things about Dean; they were brothers and what if he ever let anything slip away? Dean would leave and he would never be heard of again. For Sam there was no doubt in his mind, Dean Winchester was the love of his life… In every way possible, but he would rather suffer in silence than do anything to jeopardize what they had, because a little of Dean was better than no Dean at all.

Sam's mind was difficult and weird and twisted, he and Dean had nothing that resembled a physical or romantic relationship but in his brain all he could think about was that a random chick or a random guy in a bar would be betraying the love he had for his brother. No matter how much time had passed since he got laid he wouldn't want it; true that sometimes he just had to, but almost never. Dean on the other hand did everything that batted their eyelashes at him because the void and the pain were too much.

Dean finished with his shower and himself yet again thinking about what he wanted to have happened if he just had followed his brother to the shower. He stepped out of the bathroom and got dressed, his eyes following Sam's movements to the laptop. He finished getting dressed and sat down on the corner of the bed.

_Damn. Look at him! So fucking gorgeous and hot_. Dean thought to himself when his brother's brow lifted at something he saw in the computer screen. He was convinced Sam would be his death, he couldn't even think straight anymore… His thoughts were all of Sam, Sam, Sam, Samuel, Sam, _Sammy_. That needed to stop, at least for the night…

"Hey man I'm going to the bar we saw when we got to town" he said while getting up from the bed "Wanna come with?" His voice was normal and inconspicuous.

"Yeah I could use a beer"

"Great. Then let's go"

The ride to the bar wasn't really that awkward or silent, they talked, Dean sang along with the music and Sam watched the road noticing the amazing summer night.

When the car was finally parked outside the bar the both of them sighed and exited. Dean was the first through the door and he made his way to the stools and when Sam joined him, he signaled the bartender. When she got to them she asked what they would want and when they answered she smiled widely at Sam and winked as she turned around.

Sam smiled back at her and that made Dean scream inside his own head. _What are you smiling at her for? She doesn't even know you… I do. I want that smile on me, for me, because of me._ The bartender returned with their drinks and as she handed the beer to Sam she gave him a piece of paper with her number. _What a tramp. _Dean slapped himself in his mind and tried to snap out of it. He shouldn't get jealous or be mad at Sam, it wasn't his fault, but when Sam talked to him he couldn't help it and was a little more than an asshole to his little brother.

"Hey Dean, thanks for getting me out of that motel room"

"Yeah, whatever… Anything to get you laid" He immediately regretted saying that.

"Wow man. What the hell was that for? I actually thought you were happy that I tagged along…" Sam said, confused.

"Yeah, I am Sammy. I'm sorry" Dean said looking everywhere but Sam's eyes. When he saw that Sam was going to answer him, he just got up "Gonna go see if I can squeeze a game of pool out of one of this assholes"

Before he knew it Sam was alone sitting at the bar watching his brother walk away, still looking pissed about something that for the life of him he couldn't understand. Time went by and Sam's sights were pretty much divided between Dean playing pool and the game on the TV. When his gaze rested on Dean again he could see a smile in his face and he swore he would give anything to be able to kiss those lips. As Dean shifted his position and was now facing away from Sam his train of thought came back… What he wouldn't give to trace those muscled arms with kisses and feel his chest close to Dean's back. For a long time Sam was immersed in his thoughts of his older brother laying down on that pool table and of him riding his cock. It wasn't until he felt a presence close to him that his mind came back to the real world.

When he looked over to his side he saw a man sitting where his brother sat just a while ago and as he was turning his head back to his beer the stranger spoke up.

"Hi I'm Dan" He said smiling at Sam.

Sam could see that this was indeed a very beautiful man and the smile he was receiving was a flirtatious one, he had no doubt.

"I'm Sam" Sam answered a little shyly, flirting back and flashing his dimples.

"Well Sam, what are you doing here in this part of town?" The man asked as he gently touched Sam's muscled upper arm.

"Just drinking a beer and relaxing a little bit. You know, sometimes you just need to get off some steam." Sam was very aware that he was signaling a very green light to this complete stranger, but sometimes even he had to fall victim of the random hook up so he would not attack Dean. And this guy was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Sam's flirting was met with even more shameless smiles and touches from the other man.

From across the bar Dean was watching this all unfold before his eyes and he was getting really angry. His inner voice was again screaming at him. _What the hell is going on today? First the frisky little slut and now this dirty douchebag? No!_ Dean was having none of it. His eyes went red and he pounced. On a heartbeat he was near Sam and the other guy. When Sam saw him standing there he stopped what he was saying and smiled up.

"Hey Dean. How are you? How was the game?" He tried his best not to sound much too eager.

"Hey. Who is this?" Dean flinched when he heard his voice and he realized that he was being way too mean. Sam didn't deserve this.

"Uuuhm… This is Dan. Dan this is Dean" Sam answered once again confused as to why was his brother so mad.

"Shit man, I'm sorry. I didn't know that he was here with someone."

"I'm not. Well not like that. We're not together." Sam said innocently.

The way Sam phrased it hurt Dean too much. He was a grown man, with more sexual experience than everyone in that bar combined and he was making a scene like a teenager because someone had dared want his Sammy. The internal conflict crept up on him again. _What are you doing? You are Dean freaking Winchester, you don't do this. Hell you have never in your entire life felt this jealous. Sure people with Sam make you squirm and want to explode but never like this… Things are getting out of hand. Pull it together._

Dean was far too gone in his rage, jealousy and hurt that he didn't even say a word before he was out the door. He never finished his game of pool. He didn't even pay for his drink. And he most certainly had made an ass out of himself.

Sam ran after Dean but between saying he was sorry to the guys Dean was playing, taking his money and paying for the drinks and saying goodbye to Dan he was too late. The only thing he was able to see was the impala disappearing down the street.

The younger Winchester cussed at the empty parking lot for a lot of different reasons. First he was stranded. Second he was mad at Dean. Third and most importantly he was utterly confused with the entire situation.

Sam heard the door snap open and then close again and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey man, what the hell was that?"

"I have no idea what just happened" Sam said till looking to the last place he saw the impala.

"Dude I'm into you and all that but you should have told me you were here with someone and was just teasing him and trying to make him jealous."

"What? No. I meant what I said inside. We're not together… I have no clue as to what just happened." Sam paused showing Dan that he was genuinely jumbled. _But wait? Jealous? This guy thought Dean was a jealous boyfriend?_ "Jealous? You think he was jealous?"

"Well… Sure looked like it" Dan laughed and shook his head. "Do you want me to give you a ride to your motel?"

Sam accepted and got into the car. The car ride wasn't uncomfortable but Sam was quiet most of the time thinking about the way Dean had treated him that night. Leaving Sam in an unknown place without even a gun. This wasn't the type of thing he knew his older brother did… He was sad that he cared so little about Sam's safety. It was a pretty smooth ride and even when the guy parked right outside the motel Sam didn't get in right away.

Dean was wide awake. _What have I done? How in the world am I going to explain this one? Jesus Dean you need to stop._ He was tossing and turning worried sick about the fact that he had left his little brother stranded and without a ride. Sleep was so far away from him. He finally decided he needed to go look for Sam, apologize for what he had done and bring him back safe. When he was halfway dressed he heard the door open and saw Sam coming in. Dean knew that face, his little brother was so royally pissed that he could see the throbbing vein in his neck and forehead. Before Sam could say anything Dean started to talk…

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about tonight… I was just getting dressed to go find you. I was an asshole Sam".

"You were just getting dressed? After three hours you were getting dressed to go see if I was alive after you abandoned me? Three hours… Not bad Dean." Sam was laughing a stressed, sarcastic furious laugh. "You behave like you did and the only thing you have to say is sorry?" Sam shook his head and headed to his bag and retrieved his sweat pants. After only a couple of seconds he was ready to go to sleep. Dean was still in the same spot he was when Sam came through the door. _Sam is absolutely right. I left him alone because I was fucking jealous?! He could have gotten hurt._ The only thing Dean could think about was about how sorry he was.

"Sam… Look… Please. Forgive me, I'm really sorry about my behavior tonight."

"Yeah about that… What the hell was that? You didn't finish your game, you didn't pay and I can't even talk about the way you acted towards me since the beginning of the night. First you were nice, but the minute we sat down at the bar you went from happy to be out and about to pissed. I'm sorry but I didn't get what was it that I did that made you so mad. Care to explain?"

"I… I can't Sammy, but I'm really sorry for the way I behaved. How did you get home anyway?"

"You can't? Nice. Dan drove me here." As he said the last part of his sentence Sam stepped to the bed and sat down. "Well this was a fun evening. Glad you invited me to go along. Good night."

Suddenly there was a horrible silence and then darkness. Still standing in the middle of the room Dean looked hurt and really unhappy. Sam was really mad, he really got upset, the kind of upset that Dean wasn't able to laugh away like he used to. Finally snapping out of his near-crying state Dean made his way to his bed, got under the sheet and starred at the ceiling. _I love you Sammy. I love you and I was so reckless leaving you alone. I could have lost you… Man, you're so mad that maybe I have lost you tonight. And Dan? What were you doing with him for three hours? The drive from the bar here is like 25 minutes. _Dean shook his head at the images that formed in his mind, he didn't want to know. Heart breaking and pain crushing him finally wore Dean down and he fell asleep.

On the other bed Sam was lying awake with his mind going a thousand miles per hour. What could he have done to make Dean treat him this way? He really didn't know and it was driving him insane. For a couple of minutes he was there pondering if this could have anything to do with the fact that Dan was a guy, but this made no sense. Dean knew perfectly well that Sam was bi, he never made a big deal about it, so no… That couldn't be it and he shook his head turning so he was facing Dean. Sam was so pissed. How could Dean just leave him like that? He knew just how to defend himself he was a big ass man with hunter training, but that was not the point. Sam always loved the way Dean protected him, how he was always around and would literally rather go to hell than let something bad happen to him.

After a while Sam was almost asleep and in that state of not being quite awake and not really asleep; his mind was working nonstop and all he could think about was Dean. _Could he have been jealous? Was Dan right? But why? He sees me only has a brother and well… Dean is NOT gay or bi. But I want it so much, to have Dean above me, kissing me, loving me and entering me. I think I'm just trying to make it seem something that it's not because I want him so goddamn bad._ Pupils closing and sleep finally setting in Sam had just one more thought… _SO GODDAMN BAD._

* * *

After tossing and turning all night Sam was the first to get up. When he looked over to his brother's bed he realized how much anger and confusion he was still harboring. He knew he couldn't keep this up and still be mad at Dean. He needed to get over it and so he decided to grab the keys and go for a drive to clear his head. He thought he would get breakfast but when he stopped focusing on the driving and starter focusing on the time he thought it was time to get lunch instead.

When Sam returned Dean was up. After sleeping in and waking up to an empty room he had started getting dressed and was sitting on the edge of the bed. When Dean heard the engine of his baby come to a halt outside the motel room he sat up on the bed and breathed in slowly as if he was trying to get his courage from that little air he inhaled. _It's now. He's gonna need answers and he won't give up. You should tell him that you were just on edge because of the witches. Yeah that's nice… Maybe he'll believe you. Come on… You're Dean Winchester, you've been to hell. No need to get scared now._ Dean breathed in deep again and when he saw Sam already in the room, looked up.

"Good 'morning' Dean" Sam said trying hard not to sound mad. "I got you lunch."

"Great, thanks Sammy" Dean smiled sincerely. But his smile faded when Sam didn't even answer him.

They ate in silence and after a while Sam sighed and was the one to break the stillness.

"Look man I'm sorry… I'm trying but I can't pretend. I'm so mad at you I can't even see straight." Sam laughed in his mind because nothing about his feelings for Dean was straight. "Can you please tell me what the hell was that last night?"

Dean sighed and answered. "Sam I said I was sorry. There's nothing else to say about that."

"Really? Nothing else to say? You got all nervous and angry at me and left me stranded and alone. Jesus Dean… I know I'm a grown man that can take care of himself but…" Sam stopped himself from continuing. He just sighed and signaled Dean that he was done.

As Sam got up he started walking towards the bathroom. The next thing he knew Dean was in front of him…

"What Sam? But what?" Dean asked kind of scared because all he could see across Sam's face was anger.

"But nothing Dean… Don't think I even want to hear the answer. Let me go to the bathroom."

"Come on, man. Just answer the question please."

"Well… I know I'm a grown man that can take care of himself but when did you stop caring? When did you decide I could just be left alone and whatever happens, happens? No problem."

Dean was ashamed of himself and also a little angry that Sam would think this… It was his own fault but still Sam should know better.

"That's what you think? That I don't care? Haven't been paying attention all our lives then." By then Dean was almost as angry as Sam was.

"Hell yeah that's what I think. You just left me…"

Dean blinked and opened his mouth to talk and nothing came out…

"You have nothing to say, huh? Well don't worry. I get it. But I would still really like to know what I did last night."

"I told you to drop it. I was just tired and grumpy because of the damn witches."

"Don't lie to me Dean. I know that wasn't it. And I'm getting tired of asking you this." Sam stepped closer to Dean without even realizing it. "So just tell me already."

Dean felt Sam stepping closer to him and his heart started beating uncontrollably. His eyes were fixed on Sam. His lips, his piercing eyes, the way his hair was that morning and even the movements his muscled chest was doing. Something came over Dean and he closed the very small gap between him and his brother. Their eyes locked and Dean's right hand reached around and rested on Sam's nape pulling his face closer while his left hand was resting on Sam's chest. Sam gasped in surprise when Dean did it but he let it happen convinced he was just day dreaming.

They were almost barely kissing for what seemed like hours, eyes locked. Neither one dared to move an inch away from each other. Then using all the strength he had left Dean finally and properly kissed his brother.

It was something amazing, feeling Sam's lips on his and his brother starting to relax. It was perfect and Dean never wanted it to be over. For too many years he had longed after Sam and for too many years he had to repress his feelings but this seemed so right.

Slowly and as the kiss deepened Sam's hands were locked around Dean's waist and they were even closer. Sam was on cloud nine… Never in a million years did he expect to end up here, feeling what he had always wanted so desperately feel, Dean's body against his.

Breaking the kiss Dean was the first to talk. "I was jealous Sam. So fucking jealous. That's what happened yesterday… I was seeing red. First the waitress and then that guy touching you, making you smile… And I couldn't take it. Something snapped inside me…" Their foreheads against each other, Dean continued. "I left because either I would have kissed you in front of everyone or I would have beaten the guy to death. It was never because I don't care… You have to believe me Sammy, you're everything."

Sam was at a loss. What could he say to THAT? He was so confused but Dean seemed so sincere and earnest about all that he was saying. Suddenly Sam's insides felt lighter, he felt like if Dean were to let go of him, he would float. Clearing his throat Sam spoke.

"You should have kissed me then." Sam said smiling lightly. "I wouldn't have cared about who saw it because you're everything too." Sam quickly kissed Dean again. "It hurt me that you left, I thought you didn't care anymore. But hey, serves you right." Sam chuckled at Dean's confused look and he moved his brother's chin so that their eyes would lock again. "That's how I feel every single time I see you walking to the back of a bar or a diner with someone else."

"I've been in love with you ever since you were like 16. I just never thought this would be possible. The endless parade of girls was just a way of dealing with the fact that I couldn't have you and that you were also out and about having fun all of your own. It was never meant to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel like I've been feeling our whole lives. I never said anything because I was afraid. Thought you would hate me and leave me… Because…"

"We're brothers..."

"Yes, because we're brothers Sam." Dean lowered his gaze and stepped back from Sam. Now they weren't touching. "This is wrong and you know it."

"What? You just poured your heart to me and kissed me and NOW it's wrong?"

"Sam… I… I mean everything I said, I do. But this shouldn't have happened. I was weak and I let myself go and I'm really sorry."

Sam was visibly hurt and angry. "Really? You're sorry? Which part?"

Sam was screaming at his older brother that had sat down on the edge of the bed and had his elbows resting on his knees and his hands covering his face. When he didn't get an answer Sam continued…

"Sorry for being a dick yesterday? Sorry for kissing me? Sorry for letting me know you have been in love with me for as long as I have been in love with you? Sorry for making me feel that I could actually finally be happy? Or sorry that it was only after you did all of this that you remembered we are brothers and that I disgust you?" Sam stopped in front of his brother looking for an answer but he still didn't get one… And so he continued. "Oh and now you're not saying anything? Nice Dean, very nice."

Finally Dean spoke up. "You don't disgust me. I'm just sorry… That I ever made you think you're in love with me too. Sorry that I kissed you. Sorry that I made this real and that told you all of that"

"You are the most infuriating creature I have ever met. And I have met Lucifer. You think I don't know if I'm in love with you? You have to be kidding me."

"I'm sorry that I'm making you mad but I really don't think you know what you want Sam. You've been on the road with me for years now, I took every opportunity you had for the life you left to find." Dean couldn't even look up at Sam, but he knew his brother was getting even more worked up right now.

"Oh you dumb dumb man. I left because I was in love with my older brother! My older brother that fucked every single piece of ass that moved." Sam was now almost growling. "I found Jess and she was my best friend. She knew who I loved and I knew who she loved. Just as forbidden as my love for you, she loved someone no one could ever know about." With this sentence Sam made the decision to kneel in front of his brother and take his hands of his face. When Dean was finally looking into his eyes again Sam continued. "I was so amazingly broken up about her death because I used her to feel normal, I used her to make myself seem fine. And she died because of me. I was in love with you and that's why I left and that's why I was with her. Not because I wanted a white picket fence. Because I wanted you so much that it hurt and I needed to hide it."

Sam took Dean's hands in his and leaned in closer never letting his eyes run away from Dean's.

"Sam… I'm sorry… I can't. It's for your own good." Dean said diverting his gaze and feeling Sam let go of his hands. "I don't even deserve you. You need to find someone else because I could never be good to you. Not like this."

With tears starting to fill his eyes Sam got up again and backed away from Dean. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"I've asked you to stop. I've told you what I really feel and what you really mean to me. I've been arguing with you almost in a pleading tone so that you won't do this to me, to you and us. You prefer to try and play the righteous card and let us both be as miserable as we have been. More even…Cause now we both know that the feelings are real and so close we can actually taste them in the air."

Sam was hurting and he was so sad, Dean could see it in all the lines that were on Sam's face as he was making his speech. Dean knew his younger brother was right; it would be hell on earth now that they knew they could have everything they ever wanted. But he was determined and nothing could convince him that he wasn't doing the best for Sam.

"You have been wrong before Dean and this will just add to that list. We belong together and now I know you see it too. Two halves of a whole and we're right here. Why can't you just let go of what you're holding on to and be happy? Be happy with me."

Dean shook his head and he answered. "I can't Sammy. You're right but I can't do this to you."

Sam's face went blank. Not one single emotion appeared to be there. This scared Dean so much. He had never seen his brothers face so… Cold. Sam breathed in slowly and exhaled. After a few moments he spoke up again.

"Are you sure about that?" His voice didn't even sound like his own. He was cold and distant already knowing what Dean would say.

"Yes…I… I'm sorry…" Dean started getting up and he locked his eyes on his brother's gaze. "Sammy… I'm…"

"Okay." Sam interrupted Dean. Dean raised his eyebrows and Sam continued. "You're sorry and you're sure about what you're doing. Got it, won't be forgetting that, don't worry. We won't ever need to talk about this again."

"Sammy…"

"It's okay Dean. I get it."

Sam was so different from just a couple minutes ago. He had been pouring his heart, telling Dean everything he wanted to hear for years. He was pleading with Dean for him not to fight their feelings. He had actually used the word happy and Dean was scared and unsure so he did the only thing he could. He pushed Sam away. At that point the only thing he knew was that he had hurt Sam beyond repair and that Sam was now a block of ice. He would actually have preferred if Sam had started to cry or had punched him in the face but this? This was too much. Sam was distant and cold.

"I mean it Sammy… I'm sorry."

"No worries." Sam smiled an ice cold smile and continued. "We just work. And I am going to start looking for new cases right now." Dean shivered at the sight of that smile. He hated it. "Oh and Dean…"

"Yes… What is it?" Dean said afraid of what was coming.

"Don't call me Sammy anymore." He said while sitting in the chair and opening his laptop. He didn't even look at Dean.

* * *

If Dean had a choice he would have dropped dead at that very second. But instead he just made a sound hoping that it would tell Sam he agreed to stop calling him Sammy. He walked over to his bed and sat against the headboard. He switched on the TV but he wasn't really watching anything. He was deep in thought.

_What the hell did you do? You ruined everything! He loves you back, he kisses you back, he says that wants to be happy with you and spends the better part of his afternoon trying to convince you to be with him and what do you do? You break him. Nice work Dean. The only person that knows you, the REAL you and the things that you have done loves you anyway and you just fuck it all up because you're scared?_

Dean was like that for almost two hours, pretending to watch TV while having a brutal fight with himself inside his head. Sam on the other hand spent the two hours looking for a case. When Dean couldn't handle it anymore he got up and realizing he hadn't eaten anything since lunch, he decided he was going to go for a drive and on the way back bring them dinner. He got up and told Sam what he had decided to do. Sam didn't look at Dean or spoke to Dean, he just nodded.

When Dean got back with dinner Sam was still where he had left him. Glued to his computer and with a level of concentration that was hard to break… Dean couldn't help but smile. Despite of everything that had happened seeing Sam was still something that made him very happy.

"Hey, I have dinner." Dean said hoping his brother would at least look at him. He didn't.

"Thanks."

Dean sighed and set his younger brother's food beside him and went and sat down on the opposite side of the table. Sam broke the silence.

"I found us a case."

"Yeah? What is it?" Dean asked happy just to be hearing Sam's voice.

"A couple of disappearances." Sam spoke without even taking his eyes off his computer.

"What makes you think that these are our kinds of disappearances?"

"Because these aren't the type of cases where someone disappears and someone fills a missing persons report after 48h. These are the type of disappearances that happen in a second. Like you and me right now, the victims were talking to someone and then vanished" Upon saying this, Sam finally took his eyes of the laptop.

"What? That's wacky… Even for us." Dean said with a bite of his burger still being chewed. "Any connection between the victims?"

"None that I can find…" Sam was now eating the salad Dean had brought him.

"Well, where is it?"

"Texas."

"We'll leave in the morning. Is that okay?"

"It's fine."

There it was again… That coldness in Sam's voice was driving Dean crazy. It was his fault and he knew it. He did this to Sam and to himself. He robbed them of being happy and now his brother couldn't even look at him… Hell, he couldn't even talk to him without sounding like a complete stranger. Sam was never like this, he would be sad, cry, yell or break stuff but this was a type of hurt that Dean never recognized on his brother. Dean was deep in thought for a very long time and Sam although trying hard to remain focused on the case was also letting his mind wander…

_He shouldn't have done this to me. I was fine not knowing what it was like to have him in my arms. I was okay with not feeling his lips on mine all the time like a ghost. I was content with only imagining the heat that comes from him. And he goes and does this? And for what? To reject me and leave me high and dry after letting me tell him all those things? Fuck you Dean Winchester._

It was almost 9p.m when they were both yanked from their deep trains of thought by a phone ringing. They looked up and tried to find the source of the noise… After realizing it was his phone Sam got up from the chair and answered it…

"Hello." Sam said, unsure of who was calling him. "Who is this?" After getting an answer Sam smiled and continued… "Oh hey, yes it's me." Dean could tell Sam knew whoever was calling. "Yes I'm still in the same place and sure I'll be out in a minute." Sam hung up and went over to his duffel to retrieve a clean shirt.

Dean was seating at the edge of the bed with his eyes glued on Sam's back. When he saw Sam walk into the bathroom he just shook his head… He was really confused about what just happened and it had happened pretty fast. Did he understand correctly? Was Sam leaving to go meet someone? With that thought still fresh on his mind he got up when Sam opened the door…

"Hey, you going out?" Dean was hoping he would say no, but the clean shirt was on and his hair was not the same mess it was before. Dean knew the answer.

"Yes, I'm going to the bar."

"With whom?" Dean was really confused. Never in a million years had he expected the name that left Sam's mouth when he opened the motel room door…

"Dan."

With the sound of the door closing Dean was once again seating on the edge of his bed and he was shocked, hurt, mad but most of all burning with jealousy. He knew it was his fault… He knew he had brought it on himself, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed. Sam had said he loved him. Sam said he was IN love with him. He had asked Dean not to leave him, to be happy with him and now he was going out with the handsy douchebag from the bar? He couldn't be that broken up about what had happened…

Dean laid down on the bed and while starring at the ceiling his eyes were trying to let out a couple of tears…

_What did you do? Now there's no turning back. You broke it… You broke him. He was so loving and opened his heart to you and you just let him go. Now he is somewhere with a dude that will never do for him what you could, that will never appreciate what he has beside him… The importance and the value of that man that he has by his side._

After almost an hour Dean was still laying on his back starring at the ceiling and letting jealousy make him crazy… His mind debating if Sam had been sincere when he had sounded hurt and betrayed by Dean's actions.

_What are you talking about? Of course he is hurt… You broke his heart when you did what you did. He is just doing what he can to stop it from hurting. You know the feeling all too well, don't you? That's what you did with all those girls… And that's what he will do tonight. He will try and be numb… He will come home in the middle of the night and he will be smelling of regret and that assholes cologne. Arrrrrhg. Son of a bicth, I hate him. What kind of name is Dan anyway? Wait… What are you doing here you stupid bastard? He is yours. He is your Sammy. _

With that last thought Dean jumped from the bed. He was sure about what he had to do… He was going to go get his brother. He couldn't let him do this, even though Sam would fight him he had to try and bring Sam home with him.

After a 30 minute ride to the bar Dean found himself nervous and anxious and with an amazing difficulty of exiting the car.

_Come on Dean. You can do it… Go in and go get him. It's that simple._

Dean sighed and got out of the car. When he reached the door he exhaled audibly and stepped in.

The minute he walked in he spotted Sam and Dan at the bar… They were just talking but Dean could see that Dan's hand was touching his brother's arm. It made him bubble with rage but he stayed on point. Dean walked over and placed a hand on the end of Sam's back.

Feeling Dean's hand Sam jumped slightly turning his face to see who was touching him…

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came here to find you…" Dean didn't think this through. Sam hated him… He didn't want him there.

"You came here to find me Dean? I told you where I was going and you could have called me." Sam looked angry, still cold with his words.

"I needed to come here…" Dean said trying to remain calm. "I can't let you do this."

"You can't let me do what?" Sam shook his head and raised an eyebrow at Dean. "As we have successfully established today you do what you want and so I decided I do what I want. And you can't decide if you let me or don't."

Dean was already on edge and angry and oh SO jealous… So when Dan spoke up to say that he needed to go away and leave Sam alone with him, he just lost it.

Next thing they knew Dean had pounced on Dan and was pounding at him with brutal force. Sam jumped out of his bar stool and was able to get Dean away from Dan.

"Dean… What the fuck are you doing?"

"Remember what I told you this morning?" Dean was having none of it. He knew he messed up but enough was enough… He wasn't about to let no prick tell him to get away from Sam. "I told you I would either kiss you senseless or beat him to death." Dean was panting but still every word he said was comprehensible. "So I decided I was going to do both."

Dean smirked and closed the gap between him and his brother. He pushed Sam against the bar and pressed himself against the youngest Winchester. He felt Sam tremble a little at the touch… He knew it was now or never and he needed Sam to know how sorry he was.

"Just stop Dean." Sam said this but he was betrayed by his voice… He sounded really out of breath and Dean hadn't even kissed him.

"You don't want me to stop…" Dean's mouth was now inches away from his. "I can feel you Sam."

Sam was going to answer him but Dean made it impossible when he finally put his mouth on Sam's. The kiss was slow and passionate. Dean was telling Sam how sorry he was and Sam was forgiving him… Even if neither of them knew that that was what they were doing.

After a while the kiss deepened and their tongues came out to play. Their hands started to roam their chests and backs and both of them felt the other's already hard cock touching through their jeans.

They started to be conscious of where they were and slowed down when they heard Dan screaming at them… Or rather, at Dean…

"What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole?" Dan was grabbing his jaw as if he was trying to make sure it wasn't broken. "You just keep cockblocking me. Don't care how jealous you are or how tough you are… Sam's leaving here with me. You're the one that messed up. Now it's my turn"

_Oh my god… Dean is going to legit kill this guy right now in front of all these people. Oh my god… Dean please, please, breathe and walk away. _

Sam kept thinking they were going to have to run to the other end of the country just to evade the police. Stepping between his very angry older brother and his 'date' he tried to make it better…

"Dean, please… Stop this. I know you can actually kill him with your bare hands right now… I do. But please just stop."

"Oh I'm not stopping Sam. You know that." Dean had that mean, devilish grin on his face. "Not until that fucking pussy right there is laying on the floor drenched in his own blood. Get out of the way Sam…"

"Let him come Sam… I'm not scared of him. Just a stupid man that let you get away and is now acting like a fucking wild animal." Dan just went for it… "Dean is it? Well Dean let me tell you something… You must have done something horrible because last night when I drove him to the motel and stayed almost three hours talking to him he just wanted to tell me all about you and how he loved you." Dan just, really, went for it… "But today… Oh today was a different story. He was game. He just wanted to get you out of his mind and let me do unspeakable things to him" Dan just, really, fucking, went for it and signed his death certificate right then and there.

_Oh Jesus Christ. What in the world are you doing dude? He is going to kill you… Can't you see the man is possessed? Think Sam, think… Do something before your brother commits murder in a crowded bar._

"Okay. Dude you need to stop talking." Sam said making a point on sounding pissed off. "You are not helping your situation here. There's no version of this that ends well for you. Stop making it worse." Sam made Dan another sign so stop before turning to his brother. "Dean come on… It's enough. You made your point. Please let's just go."

"Sam… I am sure that you can understand how I cannot do that." Dean was talking calmly despite the fact that his fists were clenched and his eyes almost as black as the demons they hunt. Pure rage. "The little bitch here thinks he has something on me and even worse he hasn't realized that you are mine." Dean's eyes moved slowly towards Sam and ran all over his body. "All of that has always been mine." The older Winchester smirked at his brother and let his eyes travel back to his opponent and he resumed his speech. "Yes I messed up but that didn't change the fact that Sam here was, is and always will be MINE."

Dean almost growled that last word and with a quick jump he tackled Dan again. Before Sam could, once again, remove him from the other man he was able to throw direct, painful and shattering punches. The other guy was now all blood and broken bones but still wouldn't let up… He wanted to finish this.

To everyone's surprises, including Sam and Dean, the man got up to his feet again and started talking yet again… Sam was now less and less able to pity the guy and just rolled his eyes at him.

_Stay down asshole. _

"Hey look at how strong you are. Beating a guy because he stepped up when you were scared shitless to make good on your word and claim him as yours." Dan was smiling and everyone that had been seeing this was now shaking their heads at this because they knew what was coming. This was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. But incredibly Dan kept on talking… "What gives you the right to come here and touch him and make all this fuss when you tried to push him away? He gets to choose, and he chose me."

_Oh… Now you did it. Fuck. _

Sam reacted quickly and he jumped in front of a very angry Dean. He was gentle enough as to not make him even angrier. Sam placed his hand on Dean's chest and leaned in so that his mouth was half an inch away from Dean's ear. He felt his older brother rage running through his body but he knew he was giving him permission to say what he wanted to say.

"Dean, please stop this. I'm asking you to think for a while… You will kill him, we both know that. And what then? A beating is something no one will do anything about but a murder? Come on De, please. He isn't worth it…" Dean looked him in the eyes with a glare that told him he wasn't backing down, but still Sam continued. "And he is all kinds of wrong, you know? He doesn't have me nor did I choose him. He means nothing and I know that you know that perfectly well."

Sam felt his brother relax just a little bit under his touch and persisted on what he was trying to tell him. "You are right… I always was, still am and will always be yours. Let me get you home, let me take care of your hands and let me take care of you. You are much too worked up." Unlocking his eyes from Dean's gaze Sam lowered himself just enough that he was again half an inch away from his brother's ear and he whispered softly and teasingly. "Please Dean, I also really want to be alone with you."

Dean grinned and he was going to answer Sam but they heard Dan start to say something and they turned to him…

"Well… Sam? Are we going or not?" Dan was mumbling other stuff under his breath that they couldn't quite understand.

"No Dan, I'm not going anywhere with you…" Sam was fast to answer and even faster to continue, not letting Dan get any word in. "Oh and next time when someone tells you to stop fighting the guy with murder in his eyes, just for the love of god, stop. For your own good."

Sam never letting his hand move away from Dean's chest pulled out a couple of bills and paid his tab. He gently tugged at Dean and the eldest started to walk towards the door too. Sam grabbed the keys from Dean and he was the one that drove to the motel.

The ride was uneventful and it wasn't as awkward as they both thought it was going to be. Dean was coming down from his rage and bloodlust and Sam was calmer now that he had his brother safely in the passenger seat. They didn't exchange any words during the time they were inside the impala heading back to the motel.

* * *

When they were already inside of their room, Dean just stood there and finally realized how badly injured his hands were. Sam took off his jacket and then walked over to Dean and slowly stripped his brother of his jacket too. He threw the piece of clothing away and his hands that started at his brothers shoulders, slowly made their way down to his wrists. Sam kissed the back of Dean's neck and in turn Dean leaned his head back to rest it on his younger brother shoulder.

Still in silence Sam let go of one of the other man's wrists and softly pulled at the other so that he could lead Dean into the bathroom. He sat his brother at the edge of the bathtub and went to get the first aid kit. Sam then kneeled down between Dean's legs and started to mend the wounds.

_Fuck I almost killed a man today. I almost killed a man because I was so fucking possessed with rage and jealousy… What Sam must think of me. He surely only said all those things because he wanted to protect me from doing something awful…_

Sam could see his brother's brain working overtime and he knew what he was thinking. Trying not to let his brother's mind go too far Sam broke the silence.

"You know I can see you brain working in there… Stop it." Sam didn't look up because he was focused on his brother's left hand, but he knew Dean was looking down at him.

"I'm sorry for ruining your night… Thank you for stopping me from doing something that I would regret. But I can take care of my hands and you can go see if your date needs help."

Sam scoffs and shakes his head. "Dean I will say this only once… If you try to push me away again you will succeed, permanently." Sam stopped working on Dean's hand and looked up. "I'm sure my 'date' needs a lot of help after what you did but I don't want to be anywhere else than right here with you, helping you." Sam was still holding on to his brother's aching hand. "What you did this morning hurt a lot Dean. If after what you pulled tonight, what you almost did to that guy just to get me here, after what I had to tell you just to get you here and if after you said I'm yours you make me go, I will. And you won't hear from me again."

Sam could see the conflict in his older brother's face. He knew Dean would try to make him go because the high from the murderous rage was fading and now he was comprehending that what he did was insane and that must mean that Sam hates him.

After Sam spoke Dean slouched a little and let Sam take care of his hands without even saying another word. After they got up Sam stayed in the bathroom cleaning up and putting away the first aid kit. Dean went into the room and took off his bloody shirts leaving him only with his jeans. After rubbing his neck a couple of times, looking at the beds he sat down on the one had claimed as his.

_What the fuck am I gonna do now? He didn't go away… Hell, I don't want him to go away. But what if he is only really staying because he thinks I'll break? _

Dean was deep in thought and Sam now out of the bathroom made his way to the bed. In one quick and simple movement he had Dean on his back, with his arms pinned over his head and was now straddling his hips.

"Sam what the hell?"

"Well I told you to stop thinking. I was still in the bathroom and I could hear your gears working in there." Sam was smirking down at Dean.

"Well, I stopped. Can you please move your heavy ass?"

"No. I'm going to stay here until you believe I want to be here."

Sam didn't allow Dean to make any retorts as he leaned further down and kissed his brother. At first Dean was reluctant… Not that he didn't want to be with Sam but he was still letting his upstairs brain do most of the thinking. It was only when he felt Sam's hips grind against his that he let go of what he thought was right and with something similar to a snarl his whole body gave in to the hot muscled body pressed against his.

"See Dean, I knew you would stop eventually." Sam was grinning from ear to ear. "I knew you would remember how you kissed me back at that bar."

After a while their tongues started to ask each other for entrance and they were allowed. With tongues dancing, teeth biting their lips and hips grinding the heat between the two men started to rise and when both of them were already moaning into each other's mouths Dean stopped to talk… The sudden halt made Sam whimper.

"You know I would have killed him. I was way gone." Dean said it while looking away from his brother's eyes. "I mean, when I got there I was hell bent on giving you a once in a life time chick-flick moment and tell you I was sorry but his hands were on you…" Dean tensed up at the thought. He was getting worked up again just thinking about it. "I mean it drove me crazy and he started to say those things and all I could see was death."

Sam that was still on top of his brother resumed the kissing now on his brother's neck, trailing kisses to his ear and then back down again kissing his collarbone and his chest. Sam was now moving lower on Dean's body leaving kisses all over his brother's chest, finding a nipple and giving it small soft kisses while his tongue started flicking the hard bud. Beneath him Dean was moaning and writhing and trying to continue his speech but words were failing him.

When the trail of kisses and licks managed to get closer to the V shaped area at the bottom of Dean's torso Sam made his way up again, feeling every crease and dent and scar of his older brother's body. Dean was trying hard not to moan at the touch of those lips but he was failing. He wandered Dean's body with wet open mouthed kisses until he was back on Dean's neck, sucking and kissing the skin. When Sam was back at his original position he placed a gentle kiss on his brother's lips and he started to talk…

"I know what happened, I was there Dean, but I don't love you any less for it. I get that kind of jealousy… I have felt it many times before, but instead of punching a waitress in the face I save it for the hunt." Sam stopped just so he could kiss Dean again. The kiss broke only when both of them were out of breath. Sam tried to remain focused and continued, this time speaking softly close to Dean's ear. "Oh, and all those things he thought I would let him do to me… Well they are yours. Only yours." Dean moaned at the words and the hot breath hitting his ear and neck. "And as much as I think you're an idiot I can't deny that what happened back there has got to be the hottest and sexiest thing you ever did in your entire life and I really meant it when I said I really wanted… Well, needed to be alone with you De."

When he heard this, Dean's eyes opened wide, he had not been expecting to hear that. Not at all… He gathered all his force and with a quick movement he inverted the positions. And now he wasn't even worried anymore, he was going to make Sam see the Dean Winchester they knew was there. Not worried, deep in thought or questioning all of Sam's love. Sam saw it too. The minute Dean decided to switch their positions he saw it too. Dean was now in between the taller man's legs. Sam locked one of his long legs around Dean and let himself feel his older brother's hands roam his body. Dean kissed Sam hard on the lips and when he was satisfied with the noises that were leaving his brother's mouth he pulled back.

"So… You mean to tell me that seeing me almost beat a guy to death turned you on?" There it was the most devious smile in all the land.

Sam flushed and smiled so that he could show his dimples to Dean who had his hands running over his brother's warm, soft skin. His hands traveled under Sam's shirt. He felt every muscle and every curve until he reached a nipple; he then proceeded to gently tug at it and softly make round movements making his brother fidget beneath him.

"Dean…" Sam wanted to speak but it proved to be difficult with Dean grinding his erection against his own painfully hard cock.

"Yes Sam…" He smirked. "You need to say something?"

"Well first… You're a fucking tease," Sam said looking deep into Dean's eyes. Dean laughed. "And second it wasn't the almost killing someone, obviously." Sam rolled his eyes. "It was the rage and the jealousy. It was so fucking hot seeing you so out of your mind for me… Because you want me."

Dean decided right then and there that he was going to show him exactly how much he wanted him. He tugged at the hem of his brother's shirt and pulled it up. Sam helped him take it off and when finally the bare chests touched both of them moaned at the heat.

"Fuck Sam… You're so fucking beautiful" Dean had seen that body all his life even lusted for it for years, but this was a new setting. That amazingly tanned and muscled skin was his, now and forever – if he had anything to say about it.

"Well it's all yours…" Sam felt flushed but replied while his hands covered Dean's back with soft touches and sweet motions. "And not nearly as beautiful as you…"

It was Dean's turn to turn red and he tried to hide it by lowering himself and kissing Sam passionately. The kiss lingered and between soft moans and whispers of each other's names the grinding resumed.

"Oh… Fuck, Dean…" Was all Sam could bare to say when he felt Dean's calloused hand slowly trace across his upper body and reach under his jeans.

Dean smiled and kept going. After a few strokes he deemed it was time the rest of his brother's clothes made their way out of his body, leaving Sam only clad in boxer shorts. While he was stripping Sam of his clothes he stood up beside the bed and took care of his own jeans and boxers included. He felt Sam's eyes lock on his erection and the look on his brother's face almost made him come right then, but he pulled himself together and made his way to his duffel bag to bring closer to them the bottle of lube he had stashed away.

Sam took advantage of the fact that Dean let his guard down and when he got closer to the bed he ended up on his back again. Smiling down at him Sam placed another ardent kiss on his lips and then started his excruciatingly long way down Dean's body. Making Dean groan when he let the tips of his hair brush up against Dean's had cock, he diverted his attention to the insides of his thighs, teasing just a little bit more, before getting on with doing what he was down there to do.

"Oh Jesus… Sam, come on…"

Sam chuckled and without warning he mapped out Dean's hard and throbbing length with this tongue drawing a gasp and then a moan from his brother. He placed his hand at the base of Dean's erection and pumped at the same time he was tasting his brother's precum with his tongue, successfully smearing it at the tip.

"Oh god… That's… Just… More Sam!"

Sam obliged and in one simple movement he had Dean whole inside is mouth. The sudden heat made Dean tremble and whimper… Continuing his ministrations of sucking, licking and blowing Sam was deliberately making Dean go crazy. With alternate paces Sam was slowly leading Dean to orgasm.

"Oh sweet Mary and Joseph… You're amazing…" Dean was panting, writhing and bucking his hips so much he hit the back of Sam's throat.

Slowing down Sam gripped the base of his brother's cock and jacked him slowly wrapping his wet and warm lips around the shaft and swirling his tongue around the head. Teasingly Sam licked the slit of his big brother's dick more than once, making him start to scream – very manly screams if you ask him. When the throb on Sam's own boxers was getting too much at the sight of Dean moaning for him and moaning his name, he thought it was time to give Dean what he wanted so Sam plunged his mouth, taking Dean deep, all the way down, sucking harder when he made his way up, scraping his tongue on the underside, twirling at the head and then driving back down a couple more times.

"Sam… Sam… I'm gonn… Sam…"

Dean finally cried out, hips thrusting off the bed and body shuddering as Sam sucked the orgasm out of him. Sam worked him dry using also his fist so that he could have a really mouthful of the warmth escaping Dean's body.

In the middle of all that was happening Dean managed to lift his head up mid orgasm so that he could look at Sam, but the sight of his little brother drinking up every ounce of him and working for more sent him over the final barrier and as he let out a couple of more moans his vision went black for a while.

_Holy shit! Best fucking blowjob ever!_ This was the first thought Dean remembers having while he was waking up from his very brief blackout.

"Dean…?" Sam was on top of him, watching him closely. "You okay?"

"Okay? Fuck Sam… That was the best blowjob ever… Of my entire life…" Dean blushed at the fact that this words were coming out of him so easily, that he was giving up his façade too soon.

"Really? Been wanting to do that to you since I can remember… Having you all in my mouth, coming in my mouth… It was fucking hot…"

"Jesus Sam… C'mere" Dean pulled Sam down for a very fiery kiss that along with Sam's previous words sent a new fire down to Dean's groin. Dean could taste himself in Sam's mouth and that was incredibly hot. When their lips parted Dean continued… "That was amazing baby boy."

"Dean… Did you just call me…?" Dean didn't even give Sam a chance to finish his question.

"Yes, yes I did Sam..." Dean snickered mentally seeing the confusion on his brother's face but kept his look steady and loving. "I know it's been years since you've heard it but the only reason I stopped it back then was because for me it felt a little more intimate than what we had…" Dean stopped to bring Sam's face down to give him a kiss and then when their mouths parted he proceeded. "But now… Oh, now you're mine and I get to call you whatever I want, so yes… That was amazing baby boy."

Sam felt the words drive a wave of pure desire and lust down his spine and he felt the way his brother's hand was moving up and down his back shoot a surge of heat to his still leaking member. When Sam's cock twitched against Dean's thigh the older Winchester grinned and restarted the kissing and the grinding of hips only to come to a halt just to tease the mess of moans and pleas on top of him.

"So tell me Sam… Now that you have me here what other things did that mind of yours always wanted to do with me…"

The smile on Dean's face combined with the painfully hard erection was making it harder for Sam to concentrate on what was happening. So the only response Dean got was a couple of soft moans and whimpers.

"What was on your mind when you jacked yourself thinking about me?" Dean knew he was being a terrible tease but he was delighting on the fact that the man panting on top of him was getting that hot and bothered from simple words he was saying.

Sam mustered all his strength and he answered Dean's questions. "Well, one particular thing does come to mind… But… You first Dean"

"Oh come on Sam, this is hardly the time to start to get shy on me…" Dean was amused and already fully stiff again because of every thrust of hips that Sam squeezed in and every brush of erections that Sam made happen. "But if you wanna know you already did two of the highest ranking things on my list… God… That mouth on you…"

At that "confession" Sam lost the last shred of decency and shyness that he had and very slowly and sensually lowered himself on top of his brother, grinding their hips together and getting his lips real close to Dean's ear.

"Well Dean… What does come to mind is that I have been desperately wanting you inside of me for years… And I know exactly how I want you and I know exactly the show I wanna put for you… And you can't touch until I say so…"

Dean swallowed hard hearing those words; he was so hard and fuck yes he wanted to be inside his brother.

"I want to ride your dick…" Sam said biting down on his brother's ear and making a moan leave Dean's lips. "I want to ride you while you're sitting against the headboard…"

While he was talking Sam moved from his brother so that he could remove his boxers and Dean almost unconsciously transferred his body to the position Sam was describing.

"I want to straddle your hips…" Sam said this at the same time that he was positioning himself on top of Dean effectively straddling his hip. "I want to kiss your neck" Kiss. "And bite your skin" Bite. "I want to trail my tongue across your neck and suck on your ear, make you shiver…" Gentle sucking. Shiver.

Then, sucking on two of his own fingers and making Dean's eyes snap open Sam continued his discourse. "Finally I want to get my fingers real, real, wet so that I can reach out and work myself open for you…"

When Sam reached out and started to prep himself for him, Dean's mouth went dry and for a while the only thing he could do was watch closely, fidget under Sam and moan at his own little porn star of a brother that was driving him insane.

"Fucking Christ… Son of a bitch… So amazingly hot…" Dean was wheezing and staring and utterly enjoying the show right in front of his eyes.

"Oh god… Dean… Want you so bad… Deep inside me." Sam said as a loud moan left the back of his throat.

"Sam… God, so hot and steamy baby boy… If you keep this going I'm gonna come just looking at you…"

Sam grins widely but as much as he would very much like the idea of making Dean come just by putting on a show he had other plans. Slowly taking the fingers out of himself, Sam reached for the bottle of lube that Dean had brought to their nightstand and poured a good amount on his hands and then on Dean's cock.

When Dean felt the cold of the lube and the warmth of Sam's hand on his dick he threw his head back and groaned.

"Can I touch now?" Dean asked when his head came back up from the headboard.

"Yes Dean…"

Sam hadn't even finished his sentence and Dean's hands were already touching all over his body and pressing against his skin. His right hand went up Sam's back and was tangled on his beautiful brown locks. Dean applied pressure and he got what he wanted when Sam's mouth was doing the most sinful things to his. Tongues dancing and assaulting each other and they were on the edge.

"Oh fuck Sam… Can I?"

Sam didn't answer with words but by grabbing Dean's erection in his hand and lining it up with his already stretched out hole. Sam exhaled deeply and then sank onto Dean, only stopping at the feeling of Dean's balls hitting his ass.

"FUCK!" both part moaned part screamed at the same time.

For a while they were right there, frozen in that position, just kissing deeply and sensually. It was only when Sam gave the okay that Dean started thrusting into his little brother's tight heat.

"Jesus… So tight… So good for me baby boy"

"Oh god Dean… Yeah… Fuck me… Harder…"

Dean satisfied his brother's request and began pushing harder and faster making both Sam and himself drop a series of incomprehensible words, slurs and sounds that would make any porn star feel jealous.

Dean grabbed on for dear life, his hand once again tangled up in his brother's hair, lips smashing into each other's with powerful breathtaking kisses. A thought shot through his lust dazed mind and he slowed down… Now only touching gently his brother's body and pacing himself with the movements inside of his brother. Sam calmed down and looked him into his amazing green eyes…

"Dean? What's wrong? Do you want to stop?" Sam sounded really serious and actually thought that Dean might want to stop, which made Dean laugh a little bit.

"No Sam… Of course not… I just want to tell you that…"

Sam could see the emotions on his brother's face, he was serious and to make it all better he kept up with the slow, sexy and delightful rhythm of the thrusts while starting to kiss and nibble at Dean's neck again.

"I just want to tell you that I love you…"

Sam felt a weight lift off of him and continued the trailing of kisses until he was back at Dean's mouth, kissing him fervently and avidly.

"I love you too, Dean. Always and Forever."

For a while they just continued like that… Slowly pacing themselves, dragging out that bliss and lust for as long as they could to make that moment last forever.

"Dean…" Sam was just sighing and moaning his partners name and that made his brother quiver.

"Oh god… I love this… Being inside you, Sam… You're perfect…"

"Dean…" This time it was less of a moan but more of a plea. And Dean slowed down once again.

"Yes... What is it Sam?"

Sam was panting and still grinding onto Dean's cock but he could tell his brother wanted to say something…

"Sam… What's wrong?"

"Can you say it?" Sam blurted it out but with a quiet tone of voice almost as if he was afraid.

"What do you want me to say baby boy?" Dean was almost fucked out… First the most amazing blowjob ever and then the slow burning of the kisses and the grinding followed by the sexiest little show on planet earth and then for the grand finale he was balls deep in the love of his life… He was in no condition to think about this kind of stuff.

"Come on… I want… I need… To hear you say it"

Somehow despite of the sexed crazed condition of his brain Dean knew by Sam's tone of voice exactly what he wanted. What he needed.

Dean smiled showing his lover that he understood what he meant and pulled him down for another mind-numbingly astonishing kiss. The plunges started getting bolder and faster again making them both moan and scream.

This had been the most amazing sexual encounter of both their lives. Teasing and playing. Touching and kissing. Grinding and thrusting. Fast, slow and hot and now fast again… Dean was on the verge of passing the point of no return, his finger dug deep in the flesh of Sam's thighs. Sam was mewling and howling some unintelligible words mixed with his brother's name as said brother met his sweet spot with each thrust.

Dean was desperate for release but he wanted to come at the same time as Sam, so he pulled Sam closer to his chest kissed him properly and then right next to his ear he whispered…

"Come for me baby boy… So fucking beautiful… I love you so much… My **Sammy**."

Hearing his brother call him that again mixed with a thousand and one different stimulus and pleasures Sam was sent over the edge, screaming his brother's name and spilling his seed on both of their chests.

Feeling Sam's body clenching around his cock and seeing that beautiful and perfect man crumble and turn to putty against him made Dean go over and fill Sam with his hot cum.

For a while they just sat there, Sam's head on his brother's shoulder and both hands on his chest, and Dean still inside Sam with his hands linked behind his brother's back. Both motionless and quiet, trying to even out their unkempt breaths.

When they thought they were rested enough they kissed tenderly and Sam lifted himself off and Dean pulled out of his brother. Both of them lowered themselves on the bed so that they were both laying comfortably with their heads on the pillows and legs intertwined. Dean used one of Sam's shirts to clean them up and then tossed it to the floor.

"Oh god, incredible… You're incredible. I love you Sammy." Dean said it while pulling the covers over the both of them and pulling Sam even closer.

Sam's arm was thrown over his brother's waist and his head was resting on Dean's chest. Having Dean right there, well it sounded like one of his dreams. Their hot and sweaty bodies tangled and pressed together after a night of mind-blowing sex and love, with Dean's fingers combing his hair and him being able to trace kisses onto his brother's bare chest. It was heaven.

"I love you too Dean. Thank you."

Dean chuckled. "It was my pleasure… Literally."

Sam smiled and looked up, kissing Dean's jaw. "I mean, thanks for saying it…"

Dean swore that his heart broke in two the minute Sam asked him not to call him their nickname anymore, but he understood his reasons. Now he just wanted to wrap his brother in his arms and sleep… Now knowing that his Sammy was happy.

"You're always going to be MY Sammy." Dean said dozing off but still being able to squeeze Sam a little closer to him. Sam just smiled.

* * *

The next morning Dean was the first to wake up. While the sunlight beamed on his face and he slowly regained consciousness he was having flashbacks of the night he had with his brother… It had started out so awful, so much jealousy and pain but then it turned into the best night of his life. The very best indeed. He tried to move a little bit but the weight of his sleepy brother latching onto him was making it impossible for him to do it. He looked so happy and content, so peaceful and relaxed… Dean wouldn't dare move him or wake him up. He stayed still for a little while, rejoicing in the sunlight thinking about how he could still feel the events of the previous night etched on his skin. He just wanted to have it forever imprinted on him that it happened… He wanted to smell like this forever. Like sex, pleasure, love and forever. Dean looked over at his brother and the only thing he was able to do was smile and reach out to touch him – partly to check if he was real.

_Man, look at him… So beautiful. I almost lost this because I was feeling insecure. This is my baby boy, everything I ever dreamt of and more. I have to be the luckiest man in the world. My Sammy._

At the touch of Dean's hand Sam unconsciously moaned and then moved a little away from Dean, which gave him just enough room to 'escape' Sam's gigantic body. Looking over at his brother one last time Dean made his way to the bathroom… He took a quick shower, got dressed and he had the idea of going out for breakfast, a nice one, so that he could wake Sam up with something really good.

_God! I'm turning into a chick._ Was what was on Dean's mind when the lady from the coffee shop handed him the bags with his order. He felt really good about himself, like the fact that he was going to make Sam smile was the best thing in the world. And for him, it was.

When Dean got back to the motel he opened the door to an already awake Sam that was sitting on the edge of his bed with his hands on his face. Immediately dropping the food on the table he made his way to his brother…

"Hey you… Hey, is everything okay baby boy?" He asked, being invaded by a horrible feeling. Sam wasn't smiling.

"Where were you? I woke up and you were gone…" Sam's voice was low and broken.

_Dean you idiot. Just yesterday you were the king of cold feet; of course he would assume you just ran away. _

"Oh Sammy… I'm so sorry. I woke up early and you were so peaceful… I thought it would be nice to wake you up with breakfast, so I went out to get us something good."

Sam's head jumped up from in-between his hands and looked over to the table, where there were, indeed, bags of one of the best coffee shops in this town. Dean had actually made fun of him because the first day they were there, even before they realized they were dealing with witches, Sam had gotten a coffee from that shop and he loved it, prompting Dean to start his relentless teasing of how Sam is just a big girl.

"I'm sorry… That's really nice Dean, thank you so much. I just thought…"

Dean didn't let him finish. "I know what you thought Sammy. I'm sorry I didn't think of that and that it would scare you… But you will never get rid of me, you know? We're Always and Forever, baby boy. I'm here."

Sam could feel his eyes water and smiled from ear to ear. He got up and reached his hand to Dean's pulling him up for a long passionate kiss and then yanking him towards the table so that they could eat the breakfast Dean got for them.

While they ate they talked about the most random things, but it was nice. They laughed and touched each other's hands. They gave little nudges with their feet under the table while they discussed some possible new cases and made fun of a couple of classified ads on the paper.

The mood turned serious when they both started to look for something really out of the ordinary, if they didn't find anything else they would follow up on what Sam had talked about the day before. They looked for a little while but in the middle of all his reading Dean looked up at Sam and his mind started to wander…

_So beautiful… My Sammy. How could he believe I would leave? I know he has a point but I know he felt the way we were together. Hell, I almost killed a man last night. I wish I could make him believe that I'm not going anywhere and that I will be his forever. I will have to find a way…_

"Dean?"

Noticing that Sam was talking to him he snapped out of his deep thoughts. "Sorry… Yes Sammy?"

"Are you okay De?" Sam looked concerned.

"I'm fine baby boy. I promise… What was it that you were trying to say?"

"Hum, I think the best thing we have to do is follow up on those disappearances that I told you about yesterday…"

Still speaking Sam got up from his chair and made his way to position himself behind Dean's chair. Leaning forward Sam kissed Dean's neck and ear.

"It's not that much of a drive… I think that by nightfall we'll be stopping at some motel."

He glided his hands over Dean's chest while kissing at the skin of his brother's neck… Dean felt himself slowly get harder inside his jeans and he was letting small moans escape his lips.

"We should be on our way, don't you think big brother?" _Oh god._

Dean was now letting his head rest against Sam's shoulder and with eyes closed and mouth slightly opened; he was giving in way too fast.

"Hum… Yeah Sammy…" Sam continued his way up Dean's neck. "God…" He nibbled at his ear and softly whispered his name. "Yup… Need to go… Christ"

Dean felt Sam smile against his skin. _Smug bastard_. Suddenly all the touching stopped and the older Winchester let out a small groan of disapproval. When Dean opened his eyes Sam was already in front of him and the look of pure lust in his eyes sent shivers up and down Dean's spine. Dean tried to talk but Sam leaned forward and placed a scorching hot kiss on his lips and at the same time toyed with the hem of his shirt, breaking the kiss only to make way for it.

"Sammy… What you doing? We really need to go…" Dean said it hating the taste of those words.

Sam just smiled and dropped to his knees in front of Dean, he was tall enough to almost be at the same height as Dean who was sitting down. Smiling he hooked his hand on the back of Dean's neck and pulled him towards him and laid another wet open mouthed kiss on his brother.

"I'm not really stopping you Dean… You should really get ready to go, you're right…" Sam said teasingly at the same time he went back to kissing slowly on the neck and reached to undo the button of the other's jeans. Dean was leaning into the kisses and moaning as Sam's hands were travelling up his body, stopping at his nipples and slowly tracing small circles.

"Sammy… God…" Dean threw his head back when he felt his brother's lips make their way to his hard nipple.

Sam worked his tongue on one nipple and his fingers on the other making his brother moan and writhe.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready to leave Dean? You sounded in a hurry…" Sam was grinning and Dean was groaning at the feel of Sam switching between nipples.

"Sam, you fucker… Not fair… "

Sam laughed and started trailing kisses down his brother's stomach, feeling with his lips and tongue every inch of those toned abs that he spent so much time fantasizing about. He used his tongue to circle Dean's navel and then he gently sucked at the skin right below it, making Dean whimper.

Sam had to admit that he was also getting all hot and bothered with the situation so he leaned back a little so he could take his shirt off and open his uncomfortably tight zipper. Dean was eyeing him from the chair and tried to push forward and touch his brother but Sam slapped his hands away and began taking off Dean's boots and then he pulled on the jeans and boxers that were blocking the way to the promised land.

With playfully mischievous kisses on his brother's inner thighs Sam was driving him insane. Dean was on the edge already, he had absolutely no idea how he was going to get it together to last a reasonable amount of time. Sam took his older brother's hard leaking cock in his hand and pumped him for a little bit; he then joined his mouth and his tongue to the equation by licking and sucking at the head of Dean's member.

"Shit baby boy… So fucking good…" Dean was nearly there, the point of no return.

_Fuck! That teasing and that mouth… The death of me!_ Was the only semi-coherent thought he could form in his head.

Sam let his tongue travel up and down Dean's dick, caressing and teasing and then he took him in whole. Dean gasped and his hips bucked up desperate for more of Sam's mouth. Sam loves sucking him off as much as Dean does; he can't get enough and is opening his mouth as much as he is able, almost making himself gag. He pulls himself back so that only the tip remains on his lips and with his tongue he spreads the tasty droplets of precum and when he feels satisfied with the noises coming from his brother's mouth he plunges back and takes him until he can feel his nose touching the skin.

"Holy motherfucking shit Sam… Oh baby boy… I can't… I'm gonna…" Dean was in a sex induced bliss and his hips now had life of their own jerking uncontrollably at the stimulation and skill of his baby brother's mouth.

Sam was moaning too… Dean tasted amazing and the noises he made were driving Sam crazy with desire. The youngest Winchester opened up and relaxed his throat so that he could accommodate the impressive length of his brother and to take him even deeper and faster. The moans and groans that were rising on the back of Sam's throat were sending vibrations into Dean's dick and the feeling was amazing.

Dean was so close he couldn't keep still or stop the almost-embarrassing sounds from leaving him. The grasp that Sam had on his brother's legs loosened up when he felt Dean's orgasm forming and reached down into his own pants, stroking his erection and using his abundant precum as lube.

Sam's tongue was grazing and twirling at every backwards move and he was also working his brother over with the hand that was free. Tasting him and saving the flavor Sam teased the slit across the top and tickled the underside before – with one final plunge – he made sure his brother's cock was fully sheathed inside his mouth.

"FUCK SAMMY! God. I love you so much… So good to me…" Dean was panting and screaming Sam's name.

While he picked up the pace working on himself Sam could feel the pulse of his brother's throbbing and almost exploding erection… Dean's body stiffened and he thrust into his little brother's mouth making his dick hit the back of his throat. Both of them come at the same time and while Sam stains both his boxers and the motel room floor, Dean explodes while still inside Sam and he spurts come deep inside the other man's mouth. Sam loves the taste of Dean's cum and he swallows everything down and while staring in the eyes of a very fucked out Dean he even licks the small stream of cum leaving his mouth and travelling down to his chin.

"Shit Sam, so good. So hot. Let me taste you… C'mere" Dean said almost whispering.

Sam smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss his brother. Dean could taste himself on his Sammy's mouth and he felt like that was the hottest thing on planet earth.

They kissed like that for a long time, just basking in the afterglow of a really good morning. Sam was the first to break the kiss and he got up to go to the bathroom and clean himself up. When he got back Dean had made his way from the chair to the bed and was just lying there arms and legs spread open with an impossibly wide smile on his face.

Sam smiled at his brother and sighed, he hoped this could be forever and that they wouldn't need to leave, but people needed help and they needed to go, really go this time… So he walked over to their duffels and started to pack everything, his stuff and Dean's stuff because the latter was still fucked out on the bed.

While Sam was absentmindedly picking stuff up Dean gathered his composure and stood up dressing himself with the clothes that were on top of the chair he had been seating on. After finally putting on his shirt he walked to Sam and wrapped his arms on his waist while resting his head against his brother's back.

"You're going to be the death of me baby boy… So beautiful and sexy. That was awesome." Dean said sighing deeply and turning his brother to face him. "I don't really know if you did it because I was the best with the breakfast thing, because you were horny or because you were thanking me for not leaving…" The way he saw Sam's eyes lower at the mention of the last option he knew he had got it right. He shook his head and tugged on his brother's chin so that they were locking eyes. "Well, you know I'm not going anywhere. I get why you would think that but I'm here… I'm in it. I promise, Sammy."

Sam smiles softly like he was trying to make himself stop being stupid and believe Dean.

"Could you be there tomorrow? I mean, on the bed." Sam lowered his eyes again so that Dean couldn't see that he was fighting hard not to be a big girl.

Dean smiled. "I'll be there tomorrow… And then the day after that, and then the day after that…"

Dean kissed Sam very softly and continued. "And then Always and Forever, okay? Can you try and believe me?"

"Yes Dean… I will. Thank you. Now let's go before I spend all my chick flick minutes in this one moment" He said laughing and kissing his brother before picking up his duffel bag and heading out the door.

Who would have thought that there would be space to have chick flick moments and that he would be the one creating them and Sam ending them? _The death of me, for sure!_

* * *

Sam and Dean arrive to their destination safely and while Sam starts to take their things out of the trunk of the impala Dean heads to the front desk to ask for a room. When he gets back to Sam he swirls the keys on his fingers and just says "Room 14".

Dean opens the door and let's Sam walk in first. Sam steps to the small table all these motel rooms seem to have and he leaves their stuff there and it's when he turns around that he finally notices that there is only one bed.

"Well Sammy, what do you think?" Dean asked as he rushed by him to throw himself onto the bed.

Sam stripped of his jacket and walked over to the bed. Sam was smiling down at Dean and he was really happy, maybe he could believe Dean, maybe he could trust that this was what Dean wanted. He threw himself next to his brother and relaxed against his chest.

"Well Dean… I think you are a lot smarter than people give you credit for." Sam said smiling and absentmindedly running his fingers on his brother's toned chest.

Dean laughed and kissed the top of Sam's head and then he tilted Sam's head so that their lips could meet. He kissed him deeply and the hand he used to tilt Sam's head was now on the other's back and getting impossibly lower and really close to the top of Sam's jeans. He was preparing to start a fantastic make out session right then and there but his stomach growled at him… He then remembered that they had been driving for a long time and needed to eat. It was dinner time and they hadn't even had lunch.

"Sorry baby boy, but I need to get food into me before I get into you." He said smirking and looking damn proud of himself for being so smooth.

Sam scoffed and got up. "Well come on then… The faster we have dinner the faster we're back here for dessert." Sam winked and walked to the door.

_The death of me!_ Dean smiled and followed close behind. The ride was short and nice, they were talking about the case and about the way they were going to play things in order to get information. Dean pulled up in front of a diner and quickly made his way to the door. He was really hungry and a hamburger was in order.

"Hi! What can I get you guys?" She said politely looking at her notepad.

When the waitress raised her head and saw Dean her eyes sparkled, and she smiled widely at him. Sam saw it and he didn't like it one bit. Dean saw it too but he was too accustomed to this type of thing.

"Well what are the specials?" Dean asked.

"Well I really think that for a big strong man like you…" She was smiling from ear to ear and out of the fucking blue she reaches her hand and runs her fingers over the muscles of Dean's arms, "… needs to have our special cheeseburger."

Dean was so used to this, flirting was his second nature and most of the time he didn't even think anything of it… So this time was no different, he picked up on her shameless flirting and responded.

"Well then bring it on sweetie." And he winked at her while flashing her, his amazing smile.

"I'll have the salad." His tone was normal and without any hint of the hurt he was feeling.

After a while of Dean talking his ass off about the case and some really unimportant stuff, the food came and with it the same waitress… She slipped a paper with her phone number over to Dean, which he in turn put in his pocket.

"Huummm Sammy… She was right, this burger is awesome." Dean was smiling, feeling very content and being oblivious of how Sam was burning inside.

"Ah nice, glad you're enjoying yourself." Sam half smiled and it was then that Dean noticed that something was kind of off about his brother.

"Are you all right Sam?"

"Yes of course I'm fine." He was able to muster a small smile and he flashed it at Dean.

"Come on… What's on your mind?" Dean was asking all these questions without even realizing the danger he was in.

"I said it's nothing Dean… Eat your burger. Didn't you say you were hungry?" Sam was now getting way too mad at Dean. He was going to blow.

"Please Sammy… Tell me what's wrong. What are you thinking about so damn hard over there?"

Sam snapped inside his own head. He smiled at Dean and answered. "Well Dean, I'm just thinking about what my next course of action should be."

"About what Sam? You're making no sense…"

"Well I'm wondering if I should just get the keys to the car and leave you stranded here because I'm jealous…" _Shit. Fuck. Holy Shit I'm in trouble_, were the only thoughts on Dean's mind when he understood what Sam was saying. "… Or if I should just beat the dirty little skank half to death because she touched you or, finally, if I should just fuck you, promise you 'Always and Forever' when you're scared and then stand up and go over there and blatantly flirt with that guy while you watch, let him touch me and keep his number."

Sam's face was once again as cold as a winter morning and he knew he fucked up royally. He couldn't even say anything, so he just watched as Sam smiled and slowly got back to eating his salad.

_You know how scared Sam is that you aren't 100% in this thing you have, you know how freaked he was when he woke up and found you gone, you know that Sam is concerned that you are just going to walk away again and you go and do this shit? Jesus Christ Dean how dense can you be? He will never forgive you. You fucked up… For good, this time. You lost him. Say something to him… Anything!_

"Sammy…" The look Sam gave him at the mention of the nickname was just so damn cold that he retracted and started again. "Sam… You know it's nothing right? I mean, I love you so goddamn much. It's just who I am, and I never really thought anything of it… I did it for so many years but he doesn't mean anything. The flirting doesn't mean anything."

Sam shakes his head, laughs and starts to speak. "Yes, it's who you are. And yes it does mean something… It means that I was right to be scared and that I was right to assume that your promises meant 'Always and Forever' but only as long as you get to go fuck the blonde little thing in the alley behind the diner and then go home with me… I was right to assume that you are going to fuck around and not be there when I wake up…"

"Sam, please… You have to know I meant every word. I don't want any of what you just said… You're mine and I am yours, for real. I will always be there when you wake up. I know I promised I would make you believe me and that this is just a big fucking step in the wrong direction, but believe me, if I could find the perfect and final way to show you that I only want you I would be all over that." Dean was kinda chocked up, he never felt like this in his entire life. "Please believe me… I would write it on the fucking sky to let everyone know that you legit own me and I don't want nobody else. I would carve it into stone."

Dean tried to touch Sam's hand across the table but before their skin could touch Sam pulled away.

"Yeah you're right. Just big fucking step in the wrong direction… And you're also right that I am yours, but the other way around? Can't believe you, and so I think that maybe I'll sleep in the car tonight."

"What? Sam… Come on! You're not sleeping in the car. You're sleeping with me, in our bed, where I'll be when you wake up… Please, don't do this to me. I'm pleading here. I'm fucking pleading like a chick; like this is one of those horrible movies they love. This is what you do to me, you reduce me to this begging mess, trust me when I tell you that you can believe me." Dean was beating himself up inside his mind but he needed to say these things to Sam, to make sure he got in his brain that Dean was serious.

"No… I can't. There's nothing you can say or do to make me believe in your forever."

"Fine. I'm sorry Sam… Then you go back. Here's the keys, sleep in the bed." Dean was so visibly sad while talked but Sam couldn't even notice. "And before your mind goes reading into this, just don't. I'm not going to do anything… But you don't even want me to touch you and sleep in the same bed, and I can't spend the night in the car just mere feet away from where I really want to be. So I'll just find a bar and drink all night. I'll see you in the morning." Dean was taking his keys from his pocket and placing them on top of the table; he then slid them to Sam.

Sam grabbed the keys and then he stood up, when he was walking to the door and walking by his brother Dean gripped his wrist and without taking his eyes from the seat Sam was sitting in just moments before he said just one more thing. "I do love you. These last days will always be the best my life ever gotten. And I meant the 'Always and Forever', just thought you should know that before you walk out." Dean sighed and let go of his brother's hand.

Sam looked down at him and he still needed to make him feel better – he was still his big brother, no matter how mad he was at him. Sam leaned down and just talked in his brother's ear. "I love you too Dean and I'm not going far away. But I really don't want to beat her to death… And I will. And I really can't be here with you. But I'm not going far, you're still my brother."

Sam started to walk out and in the distance he heard the girl's voice happily speaking up. 'Oh you seem to be alone, finally! I'm getting off in 10min and my place is really close." Sam was burning, he was sure he was going to turn around and just punch her, when suddenly he heard the familiar voice 'Look that guy was my… he was my… well, my fucking boyfriend and he doesn't care much about people touching me like you so shamelessly did. So you ruined our night and I'm not even in the mood to be nice to you. Soooo… Go away.' Sam smiled such an enormous smile he couldn't help himself, but he was still really mad so he decided he would go back to the motel and sleep this off, in the morning he would try and decipher his feelings about this whole thing.

Dean heard the tires of his baby screech as his brother pulled away from the parking lot, he closed his eyes and exhaled; he was so sure he was going to lose his Sammy, he couldn't even think straight. He paid for their meal and headed out, leaving a very shocked waitress eyeing him until he disappeared out the door.

Dean walked for what seemed all night long, he sat down a couple of times thinking to himself and then screaming at the top of his lunges because he was so freaking frustrated. All his life he took care of Sammy, he held him through everything, he protected him and cared for him and now that he finally had him in every sense of the word… Now that he finally could be with him like he had always wanted he was screwing it up.

_Fuck Dean! You need to keep it together. You will find a way to make it better and make him believe everything. You will show him that every promise you made him is valid and that you are in this shit with him. You are not taking no for an answer and it starts now. _

With new found resolve Dean started going back to the motel, and it was when he walked past a couple of open-24hrs stores that he made the decision that would change their lives.

* * *

When Sam woke up he could see that the sun was already up and that he probably had slept through his alarm. He had wanted to go for an early morning run to clear his head and to let off some steam, but he clearly hadn't want to wake up.

Sam rattled a little bit in the king size bed that Dean had arranged for them and he felt a strong presence next to him. He was startled and when he rolled over there he was… Sleeping so perfectly and so quietly with his clothes still on and on top of the covers. Sam smiled but wondered what time had he gotten back and how in the world didn't he wake up.

Sam spaced out watching Dean sleep, thinking about what he had heard him say to the waitress and the promises he had made before. He thought about how his brother nearly killed a man because of how badly he wanted him and about what he had said about their future… Everything was just confusing; he wanted to believe Dean and that he wouldn't leave him, but Dean had already pulled away from him once when he got scared.

Sam was mid thought when something pulled him back from it…

"You're staring Sammy… It's creepy." Dean said still with sleep in his vice and only one eye opened.

Sam smiled timidly. "Good morning Dean. How long have you been here?"

"Good morning baby boy. I got here around 2 a.m"

Sam was so confused. He had asked Dean to stay away and his brother had said that he would respect his wishes, so what gives? Not that he is complaining, he had loved waking up and seeing him in the bed.

"You've been here that long? I thought you'd go out and have some fun…" Sam tried not to convey that even the mere thought of Dean out and partying when they were fighting made him sick; he failed.

Dean propped himself up on one elbow and smiled softly. He turned slightly sideways so that he was facing Sam and ran his fingers through his brother's hair. "Well Sam, you see… I promised you that I would be here when you woke up and I wasn't about to break a promise I made you." Sam smiled so wide that his perfect little dimples were making an appearance. That sight made Dean happy. "God you're beautiful." Dean said brushing his thumb over one of the dimples. "Also, I couldn't even stand to not be by your side. One fucking night sleeping next to you and I'm hooked. Now, I know you don't believe me but I am IN this. Forever."

"Dean I get what you're saying… And it does make me happy, but I can't pretend that I'm not scared shitless that you're going to go and back off again. And it was hell back then seeing you with all those women, now I won't be able to make it."

Dean rolled over and was now on top of Sam, pinning his hands over his head. Sam just looked away knowing that one glance at his brother's perfect face would kill his determination.

"Sammy look at me…" Dean asked with a soft voice. Sam obliged. "I don't want any of that. I always wanted you, they were distractions. Now I have you, and I get why you're scared and that yesterday I did a really shitty job at changing your mind about that, but I'm always gonna be here, because you're my everything." _What a fucking chick you're turning into Dean!_ Was Dean's thought about the whole thing but it was for Sammy and he would be anything and do anything for his brother.

Sam smiled a little and relaxed under his brother. "Boyfriend huh?

"What? I don't…" Sam's smile got even bigger and then Dean understood what he meant. Dean blushed and looked away from Sam.

"Shit… You heard that?"

"I did…" Sam was smiling and rejoicing on the fact that Dean Winchester was so embarrassed his face turned red.

"Well… It's fucking true." Dean said now looking deep into Sam's eyes. "No one can ever touch you again and no one will ever touch me again. That's how this works from now on."

Sam liked the sound of those words and a little bit of doubt seemed to dissipate. He raised his head and softly kissed Dean. "You're impossible Dean. How the fuck do I love you this much?"

They kissed again this time with a passion that made them both think they would burst out in flames.

"You love me because I'm fucking perfect, that's why." Dean laughed and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Well Mr. Perfect I need to get into the shower so that we can go and interview those people." With that said Sam pushed Dean off of him and got up from the bed.

"You sure know how to kill the mood baby boy."

"Well, no one said you can't join me." Sam said with the biggest shit eating grin ever.

"Oh fuck yeah."

Dean got rid of his shirts but when he looked at his arm he remembered that it wouldn't be a really good idea. _Shit! I really wanted shower-make up sex_.

"Hey on second thought you go ahead and shower. It's late and we need to get going." _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Sam shot out of the bathroom already nearly naked with just his boxers covering him up. "What? Is everything okay Dean?"

_Oh fuck! Why couldn't he be wearing clothes?_ Dean's body language was already betraying him and he hadn't said anything. "Yes everything is fine Sammy just hurry."

Sam didn't say anything he just grinned and walked over to his still shirtless brother. He ran his fingers through Dean's bare chest and kissed his neck slowly. Dean struggled with his breath and let out a small moan

"You sure you don't want to shower with me? I might need your help…" Sam whispered in his brother's ear while still caressing his torso. "And I actually never told you what other things I had on my list of things I want you to do to me, or where I want you to do them." Sam bit his earlobe and then kissed it making Dean groan and his half hard cock become fully hard.

"Shit… Sam. Come on, stop that…" Dean was failing miserably in trying to sound unfazed about the situation.

"Really?" Sam continued kissing him and gently pushed him a few steps back so that Dean was up against the wall. Sam's hands were at the top of his brother's jeans. "You really want me to stop?" While saying it Sam slid his hand down Dean's pants and boxers. Dean moaned and put his head against the wall. "Cause I swear it feels like you want me to keep going."

Sam was running his hand all over Dean's body. Kissing, licking, biting and squeezing every inch he could… He was really turned on and wanted Dean to head to the shower with him. He was grinding their hips together painfully slow, something that made both of them pant and moan.

"Shit Sammy, you need to stop… It's late."

Sam was sluggishly caressing Dean's erection with his hand still down the other man's boxers, slowly and gently jacking him off while he was working on his neck.

"Oh but you don't really want me to stop…" Sam was aware of what he was doing to his brother and he was damn proud of himself. "You are so ready for me to drop to my knees and suck you dry…" Dean moaned at the sound of his Sammy's voice whispering these things in his ear. "Or maybe you need to come with me and fuck me hard against the shower wall… What you think Mr. Perfect?"

Sam knew the answer… He could feel Dean's pulsing erection in his hand and the way his precum was starting to coat his hand. He took his free hand and ran his fingers up and down Dean's arms and it was then that he felt it. He looked at the inside of Dean's upper arm and gasped.

"What the hell is that Dean? Are you hurt? Is that why you can't come take a shower… Because you're wounded?

Dean smiled and Sam was confused.

"What are you smiling about? Who hurt you?"

Sam was a little annoyed with the fact that Dean was laughing at this and he took his hand out of his brother's boxers. Dean half groaned and half pouted at the absence of the hand.

"Sammy baby… Everything is okay, I promise. No one hurt me, but yes this is why I don't want to go into the shower." Dean felt like it would be best not to lie because Sam wouldn't believe him anyway.

"Then what is that Dean? What happened? Let me see…" He reached out to take the gauze from his brother's arm but Dean swatted his hand away.

"No touching Sammy…"

"Shit Dean… Does it hurt? Come on… Now I'm worried." Sam made his puppy dog eyes and Dean sighed.

Dean pulled on Sam's hand and led him to the bed where they both sat down.

"Look Sammy I'm fine… Except for the fact that you started something here and didn't finish I'm peachy." Dean was pointing at his groin and they both laughed. "It was going to be a surprise but you are a pain in the ass that is never going to let this go, so I'm just going to say it…"

"I'm sorry baby, I just really need to know what's wrong with you…" Sam realized that was the first time he ever called Dean 'baby' and was slightly afraid he was going to hit him.

Dean smiled. "Nothing is wrong with me… I'm awesome. It's just yesterday when I was all alone walking around I understood something." Dean saw Sam's face change both because he was afraid and because he was confused.

"And what was that Dean?"

"That I meant every fucking word I said to you. That you're my everything and that for you I would do anything… I would go back to hell in a heartbeat." Dean smiled but scratched the back of his neck because he was nervous. "So I was there alone, hoping I could make things right… Hoping I could find a way to make good on every single thing I promised you. I was walking around and thought that even though I can't write it in the sky permanently and not carve it into any type of stone people would see from million miles away…" Dean exhaled and closed his eyes for a second.

Sam was in shock. He thought he understood what Dean meant. "Oh my god… Dean you… You didn't…"

"You really are the brains in this family…" Dean joked while still looking at Sam.

Sam stood up and dropped quickly to his knees in front of Dean managing to get himself closer to his brother and picked up Dean's arm. His hand was a little shaky but he was determined to see what was under the gauze. Dean stopped his hand.

"Sammy… I do love you. And it is forever." He smiled at a very nervous Sam.

When Dean let go of Sam's hand he just ran his own through his brother's long brown locks and relaxed a little bit. He held out his arm signaling to Sam that it was okay to proceed.

Very carefully Sam pulled the gauze out of Dean's arm and gasped, not even being able to hide the fact that his eyes were starting to water. There it was… In the middle of one of his favorite parts of his brother's body the promise that he was still trying to believe in.

'S W – in aeternum'

"I know you know what I'm about to say, but I want to say it anyways…" Dean was trying to shake the feeling that he was also going to cry. "It means forever, for always, for all the time to come." Dean cupped his brother's chin with his hand and made him look up. "And I mean it Sammy… You and me until our last breaths… I promise you."

Sam was trying very hard not to let fall the tears that were forming in his eyes. He saw that it was still red and a little swollen so he didn't touch it, but he did lean forward and gently kissed around it.

"You like it?" Dean was certain that he knew the answer but was still afraid.

"I… It's… You…" It was all that Sam could bring himself to say at that point.

Dean smiled and leaned in for a kiss. It started out sweet and slow but it turned into something much more passionate and just like that in a few moments they were making out hot and heavy. Sam had pushed Dean onto the bed and in turn Dean made himself go higher on the bed so that his head was on the pillows.

Sam helped Dean get out of his jeans… Sam got back on the bed and he straddled Dean leaning forward and resuming the kissing. Hips grinding and hands wandering… The temperature was rising.

Sam was about to slid his hand back into his brother's boxers when Dean made a sudden movement and was rapidly on top of him. Dean grinned and started to grind his hips, making Sam moan… With kisses and bites he made his way down Sam's upper body. When he reached the hem of his brother's boxers he hooked two fingers in and pulled them down, throwing them away.

Dean kissed every inch of Sam's body making him writhe and whimper and when Dean finally got to his very hard leaking cock Sam let out a loud growl.

"Shit Dean…" Sam was already way too far gone, he wanted to say something about the tattoo but with every moment he was forgetting more and more words.

"What's that Sammy…?" Dean smirked. "You wanted to say something? I can stop what I'm doing…" Dean was saying all this while pumping Sam's cock with one hand and licking at his length.

"Oh god no… Don't stop… Please…"

Dean stopped everything he was doing. 'Please' made him so hard he couldn't even believe it how fucking turned on he was getting with one simple word.

"You want it that much huh?" Sam couldn't really see Dean's face but he knew he was smiling from ear to ear. "Then you say it… Ask for it, nicely"

Sam let out a groan that he tried to make sound like he was annoyed but only managed to sound desperate.

"Come on Sammy… You know what the magic word is" Dean was kissing all over the inside of his brother's thigh. "Say it and I'll give it what you want"

Sam didn't want to give in but he knew he would lose if he started this type of contest with Dean.

"P… Please Dean… I need you… Please do it…"

Dean felt a surge of lust and fire flow through him; it made him incredibly horny to hear his Sammy need him this much. He wanted to give Sam what he wanted/needed but he craved hearing it one more time.

"I don't believe I heard you correctly baby boy… Care to repeat?" Dean licked the head of his brother's cock, tasting all the precum he could.

"Shit, oh my god. Fuck Dean… PLEASE… I need you so bad… So fucking bad… Please!" Sam was panting and half screaming.

"Oh god baby boy. So fucking hot…" Dean was moaning too just by hearing the words out of his brother's mouth.

With one quick move Dean had Sam almost whole inside his mouth. He never done it before with Sam and he was only now realizing how big his brother actually was; long and thick was hard to take whole but he was going to do it, because he wanted Sammy to have the best fucking blow job ever.

"Goddamn Dean…" Sam tried to say something more but he couldn't.

Dean relaxed his throat and was able to fit Sam's cock all the way in his mouth. Sam moaned loudly and bucked his hips; Dean went back up the younger man's cock and without even bothering to slow down he dove down going all the way to the base. Dean was using his tongue to collect the precum and to lick around the thick cock.

"Oh Fuck… Oh my god, Dean. So good…"

Dean was bobbing his head up and down and he was also using his hand to twist at the bottom.

"Dean… I want you to fuck me…" Sam said and the movements bellow his waist stopped.

Dean came up Sam's body and looked deep into his eyes. He could see the burn of lust and he was going to lower himself to kiss him but he felt Sam grind his throbbing cock onto his and he let out the most unabashed moan ever.

"Oh shit Sammy…"

Sam smiled and started to talk. "I want to come with you inside me" Dean gulped; he wanted so bad to be inside his brother. "Please Dean…"

_Oh my god! There it goes again… That word!_

"Baby boy… You have no idea what you're doing to me" Dean moaned as he kissed Sam very passionately.

Dean stood up, dropped his boxers and went to grab the bottle of lube out of his duffel bag… When he returned to the bed, he placed it beside his brother and then got back to his previous position on top of Sam.

They made out for a long time. Hands roaming everywhere, bare hips grinding and mouths colliding… All of this was filled with urgency but also with the deep desire of making it last as long as possible. Sam was the first to speak…

"God Dean… Need you so bad. Need to feel you in me"

"Yeah Sammy… Need to fill you up so bad. Just want to taste you forever…" Dean ground his hips again and Sam nearly lost it.

"Please…"

Dean growled at the word and pulled himself up so that he could pick up the bottle of lube and coat his fingers with it.

Dean got back up his brother's body and kissed him passionately while one of his hands went to tease and caress Sam's entrance. The younger man moaned at the contact.

"Oh…Dean, yes… Do it. Stretch me for your big dick… Please" Sam didn't mind the begging because he understood what it did to his big brother.

Dean moaned and one of his fingers went inside his brother. He stilled his hand until he felt Sam relax and started fucking his Sammy with his finger. Sam was moaning, panting and asking for more when Dean decided he would join another finger. Sam was a mumbling mess because Dean had found the sweet bundle of nerves that made his vision blur.

"You like that Sammy? You like to feel me in you? You like knowing what comes next?"

"Yes… Y… Oh God yes…"

Dean was just as eager as his brother but he wanted more teasing and more of his brother losing control over him, so he put another finger in and allowed Sam to fuck himself on his fingers before pulling out completely.

Sam whimpered at the loss but smiled because of what was to happen next.

The older Winchester poured a generous amount of lube onto his painfully hard member and rested the tip at his brother's stretched out hole. He returned to the previous position and placed a few kisses on Sam's lips.

"You want it Sammy? Tell me how much…" Dean whispered the words in Sam's ear.

Sam understood how much Dean liked the dirty talk and the begs and he went all out, hoping he would just drive Dean crazy enough.

"Yeah De… Want it so bad… Please just put that huge cock inside me… Fuck me senseless, make me beg for more and moan your name" Sam grinned at the loud moan and shiver that he felt. "I'm ready enough… Don't even wait… Just please, please bury yourself inside me"

Without missing a beat Dean bottomed out inside Sam and both men just moaned loudly enough for anyone in the other rooms to hear them. Dean steadied himself and brought his lips inches away from Sam's.

"Jesus Sammy… So good… So perfect baby boy" Dean kissed his brother.

"Feel so good inside me De… Just move…" Sam returned the kiss and then rolled his hips.

The older man started to move in and out of his partner and the feeling was amazing. He never felt more at home than right there in that bed with his Sammy.

They were like that for what seemed like hours. Deep kisses between pants and moans… Hands up and down each other's bodies and the jolts of pleasure running down their bodies made them spit out each other's names in soft gasps and growls. By that time every single thrust was hitting Sam's prostate and he was sure he was going to pass out from the pleasure.

"Oh God Dean… So close… Please, more…" While saying this Sam hooked his legs around his brother's body opening himself more to Dean's thrusts.

"Shit Sammy… So close … God you're so tight and hot…"

Sam knew they were both close to their release so he decided to do something that would push Dean over the edge. He kissed his brother deeply and when the kiss broke he continued to kiss his way until he was at Dean's ear.

"Dean… Baby… You're so good, so big… Want to feel you. Please… I want to feel your cum inside me… Please…" Sam whispered while his hands travelled down to Dean's ass to press him further inside him.

And that was it, Dean lost it that soft whispered beg for him to fill him up. His thrusts were quick and desperate and with no time they were both coming hard. Dean granted his brother's wish and came deep inside his brother and Sam came untouched between their stomachs and chests.

Dean collapsed on top of Sam and the room was silent except for the accelerated breaths of both men. After a while Dean removed himself from his brother and rolled over, resting his head next to Sam's.

Sam moved his head to the side and smiled widely at Dean. He got a little bit lower on the bed so that he could place his head on his brother's still weaving chest. His arm splayed across the other man's torso so that the hand could reach the inside of Dean's right bicep. He still couldn't believe that he had done it. Mr. no chick flick moments.

Dean smiled and kissed Sam's forehead while his left hand was at his brother's back.

"I can't believe you did that. For me… I love you so much and I actually believe you"

"You better believe me Sammy… And of course for you. Everything I do is for you"

"We should go but I don't want to move… You're so warm and everything is so right. I'm afraid if I move, something will break" Sam admitted while looking up at his brother.

"I know what you mean baby boy. Let's just stay here a while… The case isn't going anywhere and neither am I… I love you"

Sam smiled one of his most beautiful smiles and sighed. He kissed his brother's naked chest and settled comfortably in his arms. "I love you too De" Was the last thing Sam said before drifting off to a very blissful and content sleep.

"in aeternum" Was the last thing Dean said before resting his cheek against the top of his Sammy's head and joining him in sleep.

END.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it. First fanfic ever. Originally there were supposed to be chapters but i just devided the various parts with the Line Breaks.


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